I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
