I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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