On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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