I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
