What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I touched a dick in church today
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
