Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
