I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
kristin has been a bad kristin
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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