WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
