This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
