also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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