Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize