never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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