so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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