i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
