I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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