so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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