everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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