i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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