Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
