I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize