This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize