Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
