my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
