I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
