He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
