Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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