She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
