I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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