My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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