My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
