Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
