Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
