Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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