I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
