he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize