I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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