Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
