Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
