I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
