Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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