I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
