Where is the hickey?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
