found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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