garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
