booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize