She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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