If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
vagina is talking i cant
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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