There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
