so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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