Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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