Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
