true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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