I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do vagina's smell?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
