Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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