brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
