U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
NoShamevember. You game?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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