Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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