She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's the barista slut.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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