what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
