no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
