her vagine was all disorganized.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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