you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
