U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize